Moral / Cultural Policing – A few Proposals

What is this brouhaha over Moral Policing these days?
Here are a bunch of guys with mental constipation trying to drum up some publicity and we are paying unnecessary attention to them.
Instead of sending them “Pink Chaddis” and “Love” messages, let us try to view things from their angle (i.e. if they have an angle and view) …………..but let me tell you, I have a few proposals that they may even take seriously.

Forget just Moral Policing, there should be a Moral Police Station that is conveniently located near a pub or …………near Renuka Chaudhary’s house!!

They should have a convenient to remember, toll free help line, like 911 that we can call if the neighborhood dogs are on heat and are canoodling so that they can come and give them a sound thrashing and teach them a thing or two about Indian Culture.

The Moral Police Stations should have a huge display outside that they do NOT handle cases of dowry harassment, female infanticide, eve teasing etc.

The Universities should introduce a 1 year degree course (3 years are too long – these blokes can’t wait that long to beat the shit out of hapless women).
The prerequisites for joining this course are:
1. The candidate should HATE the word LOVE.
2. They should have a mind that is so narrow that two single celled bacteria can’t pass through side by side.
3. They should treat all women as their sisters and beat the hell out of them if they want to eat noodles ( noodle straps are not Indian Culture)
4. They should attribute everything normal to violation of Indian Culture and vehemently and violently protest any objections.

They should be called to travel in the back seat of any car in which a couple is travelling, lest they hold hands and defile Indian culture and endanger safety on roads.
And finally, they should have a National Moral Police Commissioner and the criteria for selection are that they should come out with an original slogan that reflects Indian Culture that everybody else feels is utterly insane.
I am vying for this post and my slogan is “Kissing in public is against Indian Culture while Pissing is acceptable”