What is this brouhaha over Moral Policing these days?
Here are a bunch of guys with mental constipation trying to drum up some publicity and we are paying unnecessary attention to them.
Instead of sending them “Pink Chaddis” and “Love” messages, let us try to view things from their angle (i.e. if they have an angle and view) …………..but let me tell you, I have a few proposals that they may even take seriously.
Forget just Moral Policing, there should be a Moral Police Station that is conveniently located near a pub or …………near Renuka Chaudhary’s house!!
They should have a convenient to remember, toll free help line, like 911 that we can call if the neighborhood dogs are on heat and are canoodling so that they can come and give them a sound thrashing and teach them a thing or two about Indian Culture.
The Moral Police Stations should have a huge display outside that they do NOT handle cases of dowry harassment, female infanticide, eve teasing etc.
The Universities should introduce a 1 year degree course (3 years are too long – these blokes can’t wait that long to beat the shit out of hapless women).
The prerequisites for joining this course are:
1. The candidate should HATE the word LOVE.
2. They should have a mind that is so narrow that two single celled bacteria can’t pass through side by side.
3. They should treat all women as their sisters and beat the hell out of them if they want to eat noodles ( noodle straps are not Indian Culture)
4. They should attribute everything normal to violation of Indian Culture and vehemently and violently protest any objections.
They should be called to travel in the back seat of any car in which a couple is travelling, lest they hold hands and defile Indian culture and endanger safety on roads.
And finally, they should have a National Moral Police Commissioner and the criteria for selection are that they should come out with an original slogan that reflects Indian Culture that everybody else feels is utterly insane.
I am vying for this post and my slogan is “Kissing in public is against Indian Culture while Pissing is acceptable”
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Moral / Cultural Policing – A few Proposals
John McCain's conceding speech
The conceding/ congratulatory speech of John McCain made in Phoenix, AZ after the defeat to Barack Obama was one of the most fabulous speeches that I have seen in recent times.Do watch it for the sheer pleasure of choice of words, the articulation, delivery and composure. The grace and humility in defeat is stupendous.
The Video can be watched on the URL:
http://www.huffingt onpost.com/ 2008/11/04/ mccain-concessio n-speech_ n_141196. html
The Video can be watched on the URL:
http://www.huffingt onpost.com/ 2008/11/04/ mccain-concessio n-speech_ n_141196. html
Monday, February 9, 2009
Customer Service in India
Have you seen business establishments that proclaim “Customer is King”, some even say “Customer is GOD”. Is this true in the Indian context ? Tall claims are made in every establishment about treating the customer with utmost care and respect. There are even customer service departments / desks in place in many businesses.
Let me appraise you of the reality of customer care in India, which many of you would have come across in your daily life.
India has grown leaps and bounds in the way it conducts business. Businesses have learnt the art of wooing more customers using innovative ways. There are GOMBA’s (Grossly Over-paid MBA’s) who devise “customer centric” strategies to attract customers and sell their products and services. Millions are spent on campaigns to make customers purchase their wares. Be it chocolates or cars, soaps or software, there are luring advertisements for every brand and celebrities to endorse them.
The customer is also spoilt for choices and options. If he wants a certain product, there are a dozen brands to choose from and umpteen salespersons to “help” him purchase it.
Nowadays, there are swanky malls and glitzy showrooms to let the customer have that “wonderful experience” to purchase what he wants.
Once the purchase / sale / subscription is completed, the product is handed over with a ‘smile’ to the customer and the customer is handed over to the ‘customer service department’.
If the product or service purchased by the customer works as it should, it is the customer’s good fortune. If it is faulty or deficient, then starts the rigmarole of getting it replaced through interacting with the ‘Customer-Service’ department.
There are many businesses who strive hard to give a quality product and also have trained people in handling customers. But there are flaws that creep in.
Most present day sales people are made aware of the 80/20 principle (i.e. 80% of the business comes from 20% of the customers) and they are asked to treat the customer as their own.
But at the end of the day, they seem to forget it and forget to establish a long term relationship with the customer.
After the sale is made, the customer is treated with apathy, to say the least, or at the most, he is made to bide his time, face inordinate delays or run from pillar to post before getting the product rectified.
There was is this swanky superstore chain from where I purchased quite an expensive product and asked the product to be delivered home as I couldn’t carry it with me. I was promised delivery of the product within 7 days (and service with a smile). It was more than 10 days and my purchased item didn’t arrive. I called up the store and described my predicament and was promptly put on to the “customer service desk”. After a maze of queries and people, I was put onto the “person” in charge of dispatching my purchased item. He made some enquiries and traced my product and said it would be sent to my residence in 2-3 days, as the store policy was to send the item within 15 days (remember the salesperson said 7 days). He duly apologized for the delay and said that I could talk to him anytime and thanked me for my patience (should I feel like a “king” for this). After 3 more days, there was no sign of my product so I called up the store and asked for my ‘helpful service assistant’, only to be told that he was on vacation. I was again put onto the “customer service desk” who again asked me the same questions before putting me on to another ‘helpful service assistant’. I was losing my cool now! He again made the same enquiries and said that my product would be delivered the next day at 12 noon. I told him that it was a weekday and requested him to make the delivery after 6 PM. He told me that they don’t make deliveries after 5 PM (company policy you see!). I made arrangements to be there at home when the promised ‘delivery’ would occur and waited, and waited ………… for a good 4 hours after the promised time. Then the delivery people arrived and my joy knew no bounds.
Finally !!
Then they opened the product only to realize that it was the wrong package. Besides, the person who came from the store did not know how to assemble the product (the right product came after another day).
It was quite a hassle with the “customer service desk” before I got my product.
Right now I need to get an NOC from a finance company for a loan that I cleared 6 months ago. I have interacted with a dozen customer service reps, sent over half a dozen faxes and e-mails but I am still not able to get my hands on the piece of document. My request that they fax me a copy of the NOC before the original arrives was turned down as it wasn’t the company policy and the customer service desk only takes requests and forwards them to the concerned department. Phew!!
I am sure everyone of you who is reading this blog has some kind of an experience with the Customer Service akin to mine.
A lot has to be done in India, about providing quality Customer service and addressing the genuine concerns of a customer. It is not enough if policies are made and claims are displayed.
As the disposable income in India grows and customers are willing to spend more, it is about time, business establishments put in place Customer Service help in true spirit and educate the personnel that the sales process does not end with selling the product. And it isn’t sufficient if the Customer is made to feel like a King only until he pays for it.
Let me appraise you of the reality of customer care in India, which many of you would have come across in your daily life.
India has grown leaps and bounds in the way it conducts business. Businesses have learnt the art of wooing more customers using innovative ways. There are GOMBA’s (Grossly Over-paid MBA’s) who devise “customer centric” strategies to attract customers and sell their products and services. Millions are spent on campaigns to make customers purchase their wares. Be it chocolates or cars, soaps or software, there are luring advertisements for every brand and celebrities to endorse them.
The customer is also spoilt for choices and options. If he wants a certain product, there are a dozen brands to choose from and umpteen salespersons to “help” him purchase it.
Nowadays, there are swanky malls and glitzy showrooms to let the customer have that “wonderful experience” to purchase what he wants.
Once the purchase / sale / subscription is completed, the product is handed over with a ‘smile’ to the customer and the customer is handed over to the ‘customer service department’.
If the product or service purchased by the customer works as it should, it is the customer’s good fortune. If it is faulty or deficient, then starts the rigmarole of getting it replaced through interacting with the ‘Customer-Service’ department.
There are many businesses who strive hard to give a quality product and also have trained people in handling customers. But there are flaws that creep in.
Most present day sales people are made aware of the 80/20 principle (i.e. 80% of the business comes from 20% of the customers) and they are asked to treat the customer as their own.
But at the end of the day, they seem to forget it and forget to establish a long term relationship with the customer.
After the sale is made, the customer is treated with apathy, to say the least, or at the most, he is made to bide his time, face inordinate delays or run from pillar to post before getting the product rectified.
There was is this swanky superstore chain from where I purchased quite an expensive product and asked the product to be delivered home as I couldn’t carry it with me. I was promised delivery of the product within 7 days (and service with a smile). It was more than 10 days and my purchased item didn’t arrive. I called up the store and described my predicament and was promptly put on to the “customer service desk”. After a maze of queries and people, I was put onto the “person” in charge of dispatching my purchased item. He made some enquiries and traced my product and said it would be sent to my residence in 2-3 days, as the store policy was to send the item within 15 days (remember the salesperson said 7 days). He duly apologized for the delay and said that I could talk to him anytime and thanked me for my patience (should I feel like a “king” for this). After 3 more days, there was no sign of my product so I called up the store and asked for my ‘helpful service assistant’, only to be told that he was on vacation. I was again put onto the “customer service desk” who again asked me the same questions before putting me on to another ‘helpful service assistant’. I was losing my cool now! He again made the same enquiries and said that my product would be delivered the next day at 12 noon. I told him that it was a weekday and requested him to make the delivery after 6 PM. He told me that they don’t make deliveries after 5 PM (company policy you see!). I made arrangements to be there at home when the promised ‘delivery’ would occur and waited, and waited ………… for a good 4 hours after the promised time. Then the delivery people arrived and my joy knew no bounds.
Finally !!
Then they opened the product only to realize that it was the wrong package. Besides, the person who came from the store did not know how to assemble the product (the right product came after another day).
It was quite a hassle with the “customer service desk” before I got my product.
Right now I need to get an NOC from a finance company for a loan that I cleared 6 months ago. I have interacted with a dozen customer service reps, sent over half a dozen faxes and e-mails but I am still not able to get my hands on the piece of document. My request that they fax me a copy of the NOC before the original arrives was turned down as it wasn’t the company policy and the customer service desk only takes requests and forwards them to the concerned department. Phew!!
I am sure everyone of you who is reading this blog has some kind of an experience with the Customer Service akin to mine.
A lot has to be done in India, about providing quality Customer service and addressing the genuine concerns of a customer. It is not enough if policies are made and claims are displayed.
As the disposable income in India grows and customers are willing to spend more, it is about time, business establishments put in place Customer Service help in true spirit and educate the personnel that the sales process does not end with selling the product. And it isn’t sufficient if the Customer is made to feel like a King only until he pays for it.
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