Every where I go, people call me as the humorous guy, the ‘king of one-liners’, the person with a quick humorous repartee.
So I thought I will put together a collection of those that I quickly made up.
So here goes …………..
I was invited to propose the toast at the silver wedding anniversary of an uncle of mine. I started with “Marriages are made in heaven, but thereafter life is hell ………”
I woke up 3 hours later in the hospital.
People tell me I was struck on the head by a flying object that was hurled at me by someone in the crowd. I have a strange feeling there is a connection between my losing consciousness, the flying object and my wife.
Then I slowly turned around and to my surprise, saw my uncle in the bed next to mine. Apparently he had nodded in agreement and smiled at my opening line!
We started our work 1 hour late today, thanks to a health talk that we had yesterday. The speaker extolled us on the benefits of a simple thing like taking the stairs as opposed to taking the elevator. As a result, we had our employees taking the stairs and when they finally reached, huffing and puffing, they were in no state to work. They had to rest for half an hour before they were in any state to support themselves on the chair. Thank God we are located on the 5th floor.
We have all been lured by “Buy this, take that free”. Many times the FREE stuff troubles us more …………….Get married! You get the Mother-in-law free!!
And here is a one liner that I made up - “Never let an opportunity go by, it is just like lightning-never strikes twice at the same place” – Sunil King
More later!!
Friday, May 29, 2009
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Climb Up!
How many times have we heard “Life is full of ups and downs”
I am writing aout the 4 ups to climb up in life!
DRESS UP: Have you heard the clichéd phrase “Clothes Maketh the Man”. Why are clothes so important? More often than not it is the first thing that gets noticed about a person! If we want to make a good first impression, it is imperative to wear appropriate clothes. Remember though, that dressing appropriately is very event-specific. You cannot wear a track suit and meet a business client or wear a loin cloth to meet the Governor – Unless you are Mahatma Gandhi!!! I am advocating the Right Clothes, Not the Best or most expensive.
It is also proven that wearing nice and bright colored clothing elevates one’s mood!! It’s also a sign of respect for others if you make an effort to look neat and tidy.
SHOW UP: A very important trait of successful people is being present at the right place at the right time.
You may ask me how? …………It is a habit.
When you dress up to go to an event, arrive there at the appointed time.
It is acceptable in India to be “fashionably late”.
It is one thing showing up late – and another not showing up at all.
Make it a habit to show up at promised events. If you are in doubt, say it or decline to show up. But if you promise it – SHOW UP.
So, if you want to move up ………….SHOW UP !!!
SPEAK UP: Learn how to say the right things. Especially in a group, if you want to make your presence felt, it isn’t good to have Mental Constipation. Learn to speak with confidence on any topic. Learn to be a good, polite conversationalist.
I have seen many people tongue tied at crucial junctures. Speak to make your presence felt!
SHUT UP: And finally, learn how and when to stop ………..to keep quiet!
Some people have a problem of verbal diarrhoea. Once they start they never know when to stop. There’s a saying by Plato:
“Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.”
Stop speaking when you have made your point. It is better to quit when you are winning.
And finally, to summarize, the 4 Ups to Climb up are:
Dress up, Show Up, Speak up and Shut Up!!
Now, the trick here is to follow the order and do these 4 in entirety.
If you Dress up and just Show up ………….. u actually belong on the ramp!!
If you speak up without dressing up ……………you run the risk of not being taken seriously!!
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Aam aadmi votes!
This morning, I overheard a conversation that was taking place between my wife and our maid.
The story dates back to a few days back, when the maid very sheepishly asked for 2 days leave. “Why?” my wife asked!
The maid replied that she wanted to go to her native in Tamil Nadu to cast her vote.
“But you voted here, in Bangalore, on 23rd April” my wife said, to which the maid replied “Oh, that was for here. Now I am going to my hometown to vote for my leader who will form my government”
My wife gave up and agreed for her 2 days’ leave.
Cut, to the conversation that I overheard today!
My wife was asking the maid how the voting experience was. The maid was very excited and she began to explain how she, her husband and fellow dwellers went by a special van to her native and cast their vote, but she was disappointed that her vote will not elect her area leader but it will help someone else. She also said that they were paid Rs.200 and food per head for their vote. But more than that was the vote itself. Her area leader sought them out even though they were hundreds of miles away and asked for their vote. It was a matter of honor for them!
Who was the candidate? ………well, she didn’t know! She was told to vote for a symbol and she did!
I began to ponder!
We sit in our living rooms and watch different channels for exit polls, poll analysis and results. We watch the trends and go to the extent of analysing the stability of the elected government and the impact on economic growth and governmental policies.
The ground reality is that the government is elected mostly by people who are told by someone to stamp their vote for a symbol.
It also brought another thought in me: I read in the newspaper that C.N.R.Rao’s name did not figure in the voters list whilst our maid’s name was in two states.
Jai Ho!
The story dates back to a few days back, when the maid very sheepishly asked for 2 days leave. “Why?” my wife asked!
The maid replied that she wanted to go to her native in Tamil Nadu to cast her vote.
“But you voted here, in Bangalore, on 23rd April” my wife said, to which the maid replied “Oh, that was for here. Now I am going to my hometown to vote for my leader who will form my government”
My wife gave up and agreed for her 2 days’ leave.
Cut, to the conversation that I overheard today!
My wife was asking the maid how the voting experience was. The maid was very excited and she began to explain how she, her husband and fellow dwellers went by a special van to her native and cast their vote, but she was disappointed that her vote will not elect her area leader but it will help someone else. She also said that they were paid Rs.200 and food per head for their vote. But more than that was the vote itself. Her area leader sought them out even though they were hundreds of miles away and asked for their vote. It was a matter of honor for them!
Who was the candidate? ………well, she didn’t know! She was told to vote for a symbol and she did!
I began to ponder!
We sit in our living rooms and watch different channels for exit polls, poll analysis and results. We watch the trends and go to the extent of analysing the stability of the elected government and the impact on economic growth and governmental policies.
The ground reality is that the government is elected mostly by people who are told by someone to stamp their vote for a symbol.
It also brought another thought in me: I read in the newspaper that C.N.R.Rao’s name did not figure in the voters list whilst our maid’s name was in two states.
Jai Ho!
Sunday, May 17, 2009
Art of Control
I remember a scene from an English Movie where a plane is being hijacked!
The hijackers walk into the cockpit and ask the Pilots "who's in Charge"
one of them replies(unaware that they are hijackers) "I am".
then one of the hijackers puts a gun to his head and asks "now who's in charge"
The bewildered pilot replies "You are!"........
This set me thinking on the types of Control that humans exercise and i have classified some of them
Control by Manipulation
Control by Authority
Control by Selfless Giving
* Control by Manipulation - is exercised by manipulating people because of circumstances
or situation. Some politicians, Godmen, Cult Leaders or so called strategists exercise this kind of
control. They usually have a mass following by preaching and appealing to the emotional
quadrant. They manipulate the minds of people and control them.
* Control by Authority - This kind of control is exercised by people who have authority or power vested in them by some one higher(the government, education or economic status).
People can enjoy and exercise this control either because they have earned it or it is bestowed on them. People can control others because they are experts in a particular subject (SME) or because they have more economic power that helps them control other people's decisions (sometimes arm twisting).
There is a thin line in this form of control between positive Authority and negative authority.
* Control by Selfless Giving - This i feel is the best form of Control, always exercised when you have something on offer without expecting anything in return. A few examples are Helping those in distress, Counselling, community service etc.
There are people I know who are doing a wonderful job by helping people, counselling them, saving peoples' lives,saving marriages. These people too have a following of people who love them and trust them.
This is a very subtle form where you Control by not Controlling.
It would really help us if we exercise this form in our relationships.
All of us like to say "Dont worry, I'm in Control". But are we?
if yes, then what kind of control?
The hijackers walk into the cockpit and ask the Pilots "who's in Charge"
one of them replies(unaware that they are hijackers) "I am".
then one of the hijackers puts a gun to his head and asks "now who's in charge"
The bewildered pilot replies "You are!"........
This set me thinking on the types of Control that humans exercise and i have classified some of them
Control by Manipulation
Control by Authority
Control by Selfless Giving
* Control by Manipulation - is exercised by manipulating people because of circumstances
or situation. Some politicians, Godmen, Cult Leaders or so called strategists exercise this kind of
control. They usually have a mass following by preaching and appealing to the emotional
quadrant. They manipulate the minds of people and control them.
* Control by Authority - This kind of control is exercised by people who have authority or power vested in them by some one higher(the government, education or economic status).
People can enjoy and exercise this control either because they have earned it or it is bestowed on them. People can control others because they are experts in a particular subject (SME) or because they have more economic power that helps them control other people's decisions (sometimes arm twisting).
There is a thin line in this form of control between positive Authority and negative authority.
* Control by Selfless Giving - This i feel is the best form of Control, always exercised when you have something on offer without expecting anything in return. A few examples are Helping those in distress, Counselling, community service etc.
There are people I know who are doing a wonderful job by helping people, counselling them, saving peoples' lives,saving marriages. These people too have a following of people who love them and trust them.
This is a very subtle form where you Control by not Controlling.
It would really help us if we exercise this form in our relationships.
All of us like to say "Dont worry, I'm in Control". But are we?
if yes, then what kind of control?
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
A Winning Attitude
A Winning Attitude
One of my favorite sayings, even today remains “Attitude determines Altitude”. How high you want to reach in life, what are the things that you want to achieve, are determined by the attitude that you carry towards that goal.
Why do some people seem to reach the top of the corporate ladder easily, while others remain stuck on the middle-management rung, or the lower rungs? Why do some people achieve great personal success and win almost everything, while others fall in the category of ‘also rans’? You might think that it is just because those people have more of what it takes to succeed, like brains, talent and powerful people in their corner. But there is something else that is just as important: A Winning Attitude
A winning attitude goes further beyond a Positive Mental Attitude. It is a concoction of desire, self belief, self backing, strategy and relentless effort.
Winston Churchill called Attitude- a small thing that can make a big difference.
One of the ways that we can develop a Winning Attitude is by changing the way we think and taking charge of our own destiny.
Take a look at the Indian Cricket team now. This was the same team, or much less talented than previous ones. They are winning almost every match now, against any opposition, in any location! What has changed now? They have changed the way they think! They have developed a Winning Attitude.
Winners go out and make good things happen. So let us commit ourselves to thinking about our career or goals in an entirely different way. We will make it to the top, and we are in charge of making it happen. This reminds me of a quote by Zig Ziglar “If It Is To Be- It Is Up To Me”. These, according to me are the 10 most powerful two letter words that can be life changing.
We have seen and heard of stories of extraordinary achievement of people who have overcome barriers and obstacles. Be it physical or social or economical. In fact, all the winners have!
Look at a Barack Obama, Lance Armstrong, Oprah Winfrey or a Dhirubhai Ambani.
Obama’s “Yes, We Can” is by far the most compelling and winning campaign that I have seen.
If we read the life story of the above mentioned people, we will understand their desire, their thinking pattern and their Attitude.
One of the techniques that I use is to envisage the glory and triumph I will feel on winning or achieving a goal. This spurs me on to take up the task with zest and a winning attitude. If we can think about the accolades and recognition that we will receive on achieving goals, then we will come up with strategies that will assist us in surmounting the most improbable goals.
Future thinking is another powerful technique that will help us to build a winning attitude. We need to give all of our thinking to the future because the past is gone. We cannot change the past. Learn the lessons from the past and plan for winning in the future.
One of the other tenets of having a winning attitude is to be your own fan! Have you been waiting for someone in the office to recognize your talents and efforts? Maybe it's time you start tooting your own horn. Successful workers know how to point out their achievements without sounding boastful.
And finally, all teams Play to win, but if they don’t succeed at first, they follow “Winners never Quit and Quitters never Win”. So, never give up!
And as the protagonist in a popular movie says “There is a thin line between Attitude and Arrogance – “I CAN do it is Attitude and ONLY I can do it is Arrogance”.
One of my favorite sayings, even today remains “Attitude determines Altitude”. How high you want to reach in life, what are the things that you want to achieve, are determined by the attitude that you carry towards that goal.
Why do some people seem to reach the top of the corporate ladder easily, while others remain stuck on the middle-management rung, or the lower rungs? Why do some people achieve great personal success and win almost everything, while others fall in the category of ‘also rans’? You might think that it is just because those people have more of what it takes to succeed, like brains, talent and powerful people in their corner. But there is something else that is just as important: A Winning Attitude
A winning attitude goes further beyond a Positive Mental Attitude. It is a concoction of desire, self belief, self backing, strategy and relentless effort.
Winston Churchill called Attitude- a small thing that can make a big difference.
One of the ways that we can develop a Winning Attitude is by changing the way we think and taking charge of our own destiny.
Take a look at the Indian Cricket team now. This was the same team, or much less talented than previous ones. They are winning almost every match now, against any opposition, in any location! What has changed now? They have changed the way they think! They have developed a Winning Attitude.
Winners go out and make good things happen. So let us commit ourselves to thinking about our career or goals in an entirely different way. We will make it to the top, and we are in charge of making it happen. This reminds me of a quote by Zig Ziglar “If It Is To Be- It Is Up To Me”. These, according to me are the 10 most powerful two letter words that can be life changing.
We have seen and heard of stories of extraordinary achievement of people who have overcome barriers and obstacles. Be it physical or social or economical. In fact, all the winners have!
Look at a Barack Obama, Lance Armstrong, Oprah Winfrey or a Dhirubhai Ambani.
Obama’s “Yes, We Can” is by far the most compelling and winning campaign that I have seen.
If we read the life story of the above mentioned people, we will understand their desire, their thinking pattern and their Attitude.
One of the techniques that I use is to envisage the glory and triumph I will feel on winning or achieving a goal. This spurs me on to take up the task with zest and a winning attitude. If we can think about the accolades and recognition that we will receive on achieving goals, then we will come up with strategies that will assist us in surmounting the most improbable goals.
Future thinking is another powerful technique that will help us to build a winning attitude. We need to give all of our thinking to the future because the past is gone. We cannot change the past. Learn the lessons from the past and plan for winning in the future.
One of the other tenets of having a winning attitude is to be your own fan! Have you been waiting for someone in the office to recognize your talents and efforts? Maybe it's time you start tooting your own horn. Successful workers know how to point out their achievements without sounding boastful.
And finally, all teams Play to win, but if they don’t succeed at first, they follow “Winners never Quit and Quitters never Win”. So, never give up!
And as the protagonist in a popular movie says “There is a thin line between Attitude and Arrogance – “I CAN do it is Attitude and ONLY I can do it is Arrogance”.
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